Is Such Sweet Sorrow

So today I decided to look out for me,

I was just thinking of how soon it was when me was we.

At first when I thought of you, I smirked at the song of this reprise...

But then I decided I must forget you, and tears came to my eyes.

I know that I still love you, and I was manipulative and wrong;
I just can't decide, though....are we just acting strong?
Does any of this hurt you at all?
Because I see you, and I remember every time that you'd call.
You made me smile, you made me happy.
I wished it'd last awhile, I thought that you really loved me...
I've been wrong before, but this subject is too suspenseful;
I've tried to open another door...but I can't forget what was beautiful.
For once I will look out for me by looking away from you....
And I know, my darling, my broken love was true.
I think of you as the nights slowly crawl by;
Sorrow in my soul, a tear jumps from my eye.
I feel empty when I'm not talking to you,
Another way I know my broken love was true.

I miss you so much, I can hardly breathe;
And, I know, where ever you are, you're not missing me.
I'm craving your voice, the secrets you'd sweetly say;
I've lost the method of choice, I pray these gray days will decay...
Your honesty, your touch...your lips never entwine with mine;
I loved you so much, but this won't be our time.

Until 02:00 AM

Feelings of loss, regret, and dread.

Don't know what to do, bang-bang you're dead.

Tell your friends you're okay, say you're just fine:) ;

Even when you're numb, pain is in the back of your mind.

The dizziness, feeling of being sick;
You listen to the ones that all call you pathetic.
Sometimes you shake and you don't know why,
It takes everything (you wish you had) not to say goodbye.
Feelings of depression... doubt, despair.
You wake up in cold sweats, but no tears in the air.
You're empty inside; yes, I know.
Your insomnia's returning-it's starting to show.
You can't stop thinking, wishing it was meant to be..
How do I know? 
                You're just like me.

The Unforgotten

I guess our minds are made up.
I know you see me, I know you're there;
You fought my battle I asked you,
One two three and say 'I don't care'.
You've done well, you ran my race,
But you didn't win this war,
My tears started to swell; you only came in second place.

This isn't what I want; it’s what I wanted,
Chances were given, sorry I failed.
I took the time to learn less about us and more about me:
We are now unforgotten, unexplained, and unveiled.
I left for the better, and I fell into a different trance;
My mind was filled with tomorrow,
But I'm beginning to hate romance...

"Please try to be patient
And know that I'm still learning.
I'm sorry that you have to see
The strength inside me burning.
And I'm letting myself down by satisfying you;
And I wish that you could see
That I have my troubles too."

You know what you're doing, you know I can't care;
But there's this one thing...you’re always still there.
Hate is a strong word, but love is stronger;
I can't stand you haunting me any longer.
Once upon a time the world was sweeter than we knew:
Everything was ours, how happy we were then,
But somehow "Once Upon A Time" never comes again.

A Letter to His Wife

A letter to His fiancée,

       I don’t know you yet, but by the time that this letter becomes relevant to you I hope I have the pleaser of really knowing the fiancée of the man I would die for, or more appropriately, spend the rest of my life with. Please be the girl that when you were younger could see how the sky was filled with more than just the color blue. Please be the girl that learned how to say goodbye and learned that it’s okay to say no and learned that soon enough the hero stands and fights and puts down the bottle or the past or whatever you were using for a life. Please be someone that can learn to love him more and more each morning you have the pleasure of waking up beside him. Be the girl that can’t find home anywhere else than right beside him. Learn to never cut what can be untied. Learn that your nightmares can be stopped by the love he sees in you. Learn that being in love is like poison, flowing through your veins, filling you from the very thought of his touch. And know that love is and should be a pleaser. Not another something you can fear. Learn that life begins at the end of your comfort zone. Know that he is gentle. He won’t ever pick apart the fragile pedals of a reborn flower inside your core. Pain is just a side effect of love and it only comes when you do nothing and except its welcome. Never let it slip your mind that he is smart, really very smart. If you have something difficult to tell him, odds are he’s already on to you. And it won’t be until he’s gone that you will see what a gift that really is. Life is made up of special moments which make it worth living. That’s how you know you love someone, I guess, when you can’t experience anything without wishing the other person were there to see it too. There are many cherished moments that are missed due to the stress and fast pace of daily living. We must slow down and remember how precious it is to be alive and to love. Lastly, when you fear that the light is fading and the moment’s exploding; out of 6,972,848,504 people, he choose you. 

                                             With great devotion, the girl that sees only blue.

~Other Letters to Great Men's Great Women~

A letter to the wife of the boy with carrot top hair and a sunny though occasionally vague disposition,

Congrats on getting this far. I hope he will treat you well. I know he never stopped trying for me, I can only imagine what it would be like to be loved by him. Please, though, never forget why you love him and never stop giving to him all that you can because he will always try to give you more. I know that. Don’t ever forget that he’s a lover not a fighter, but he will fight for what he loves even if you never see it. One last thing for me, please always do all you can to keep him spontaneous. With care, his loving Hermia.

A letter to his husband,

Never for one moment think that he doesn't love and care and treasure your very existence. I mean, I don’t know you, but I know him well enough that he always strives to protect those he loves. Sometimes he becomes a little too vulnerable to those he devotes himself to but that means he’s open to you protecting him. This man has ran through hell and back. Don’t ever allow him to mope back to those dark places he’s known. And in return you will receive more love, more care, more happiness than you could ever find with anyone else. I know it. With poise, his shoulder to cry on.

A letter to the wife of a soldier,

You are so lucky you know. You have fallen for his masterpiece of a man. I know he doesn't think that now himself, but really he is a one of a kind. You know that. This soldier needs somebody strong to fight by his side, and he has found you. My advice to you is to never blink at the brightness of the sunrise. Never neglect those privet conversations. Always encourage his dreams, whether he wants to be a hero, a Viking, or even a poet. I know that he can become anything he thinks is possible as long as he keeps facing the army front and never turns in fear of the bullets and blows that come his way. Break a leg, his one time Fiona.

blood in my mouth.

He told me to never fall in love with people like him.
He took me to parks, and plays, and gleaming mountain sides, and kissed me in every beautiful place, so that I could never go back to them without tasting him like blood in my mouth. Without hearing his heart dance as it connects to mine. He said he would destroy me in the most beautiful way possible. And when he left I finally understood why storms are named after people.

I told you not to worry...

I don't think it's all about love anymore,

Possibly betrayal, or something of the horror.

"I hate you I hate you-I love you I hate you-Don't do it I need you-Forget it I know you"

The pain is mostly gone, at least I can't feel it;

I'm partly numb...can we get this over with?

I used to say "come back," now I say, "please don't."

I don't want to get hurt anymore, if you're not here, I won't.

"Don't leave me I love you-Don't say that you love me-‘Cause what does it matter-You're going to leave me-So leave me, whatever-It’s not like I need you-I need you; don't leave me-You know I'm not selfish but me me me-I I I need you to stay-Okay?"

You think you're so innocent, we all disagree;

You are the victim? You've brought us only misery.

Please just turn around, before I change my mind;

I won't give up the happiness that took so long to find.

"Let's look at this calmly-Discuss how I hate you-The ways that you've hurt me-Though really you haven't-You're clearly about to-Don't touch me – I hate you-Just leave us, whatever-We’ll get on without you-I'm though and resourceful-I'm steady and sturdy"

Please just leave me alone, I memorized all that you said;

I'm pathetic, you're right; but no more tears will be shed.

"You're the reason I think this life might not be meaningless-You're my North Star-My map to grace-You're my single best decision in a life of many awful ones-My one big yes-My one embrace-With you I never feel I'm out of place"

I won't lie anymore just to cover up the truth;

I won't be who I used to be, whether or not, you approve.

"I totally blame you-And really, how could you?-I hate you I hate you-I hate that I hate you-I hate that I love you-I love you I----

Loved you"

This is my life, you are not apart of it any longer.

I am finally saying "goodbye,' and I just got a bit stronger.

Inspiration for the Inspired