A Trophy Father's Trophy Daughter

Four years old, daddy’s little girl;
Trained to think there’s nobody else in the world.
Contrary to popular belief, trained is the correct word.

One day she turns seven and her father is sick, soon to be leaving her behind.
He packed his bags and got in his truck; not admitting the sickness was in his mind.

It’s a terrible story, none the less, and it’s far from over;
Now she’s eight and following him, along with her mother.
He is drinking alcohol, breaking his once important promises;
Not being reasonable, putting the bottle down, and certainly not being a role model.
Over and over again she heard him repeat these words:
"You’re the only one that matters, I’ll always be there for my daughter,"

She’s eleven now, they've moved again, she trusts no one.
She’s broken inside, nobody will listen, she’s just giving up.
Taken out of school, bullied so badly, starting to go numb;
Doesn't understand why she feels this way, why isn't she good enough?

Thirteen now, another new house, new school, new everything;
"Take a deep breath, it’s okay, you’ll live another day,"
So many ‘friends’, so many times she’s been betrayed;
No matter where she goes, she just ends up hated.
She pretends she’s okay, not that it matters;
Nobody asks, and attention isn't something she gathers.
The razor blade whispers her name at the beginning of seventh grade;
She doesn't tell anybody about her addiction, feeling she’s a disgrace.
Sometimes she wishes she had the courage to end her life.

Seventeen years old, now. I've lived through Hell and more.
I must admit it’s a miracle that I’m still here.
Just in three years I've had my heart broken in more ways than one;
Girlfriends, boyfriends, mother, father, best friends, and family..
The people that promised to never leave, they all ran out the door.
My father, my supposed Superman, my hero;
He’s never supported me like he promised.
When he found out I started cutting he said I should just kill myself;
"That’s what you’re trying for anyway, right?!"
Just last June my mother finally asked for a divorce,
He yelled, “You screwed over my family!”
"What family?" was my reply, then I hit the floor.

There’s no way possible I could tell of my constant battles with myself and father.
The constant I hate yous that have been screamed into my ears by my one and only, 

LOVING father since I was fifteen.

You want to know the story?

It’s writing like this that makes my boyfriend worry..

Since I was young I have not been good enough, not even for myself;

And just in the last couple of months I've decided that that needs to change.

My father has left me behind quite a few times, (Left Behind.)

But this time he’s not welcome back.

He’s tried a few times to get me back, to win me over;

That almost makes me a trophy, right? (Trophy Daughter.)

My father is a (Trophy Father) in the most sarcastic of ways.

I don’t think anything more needs to be said.